re-discovery

I have gone through a lot of phases in my life.  A few of them too painful, I just wish they never happened.  I know that bit & pieces of me are still scattered out there, waiting to be recovered, waiting to be reconnected to make me whole again.

But I know that everything takes time.  And my time hasn’t really come yet.

So instead of wallowing in self-pity, instead of drowning myself with my own tears, instead of worrying about things that may never happen… I knew I needed to stand up, and somehow, re-invent myself to face the things that made me afraid.  I’m still a bit scarred & scared, but I know that taking small baby steps now will prepare me to make long strides in the days to come.

My first step took me to that 1 step to find a place I can call home.  Living with my husband now gave me a sense of security, a sense of belongingness and oneness I thought I can never find.  He’s my source of strength.  He taught me that I need to be courageous, because it is fear which will put me down.  He taught me that I have an inner strength, what I only need to do is to re-discover them.

I am in a journey right now.  It is the longing to be re-connected which drives me to be where I am today.

Journey… discovery… re-discovery… re-learning the things I have always known.  Buried in my past, but aching to come out and become the one it was destined to be.